Archive for November, 2005

Definition of Irony

November 26, 2005


Wax on, Wax off

November 26, 2005

Rest in peace, Mr. Miyagi

Canadian ex-minister seeks to stop intergalactic war

November 25, 2005

No, seriously:

(PRWEB) – OTTAWA, CANADA (PRWEB) November 24, 2005 — A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics — relations with “ETs.”

By “ETs,” Mr. Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth.

On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: “UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head.”

Mr. Hellyer went on to say, “I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something.”

Well, aliens would have WMD's, at least. Wonder if their planet has oil to boot?

Robotic hand job machine

November 25, 2005

Greatest invention ever.

Finally, something that can combine my love of high tech toys and –

Flying Spaghetti Monster News

November 25, 2005

pray to be touched by
Flying Spaghetti Monster’s
noodly appendage

Original source unknown.

In other news, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has decided to appear in a petri dish:

Obviously, the Flying Spaghetti Monster wishes to remind us that Turkey is a FALSE meal on this Thanksgiving day, and true believers should only be having pasta dinners.

Another irony meter overloads and bites the dust

November 24, 2005


DENVER – Former FEMA Director Michael Brown, heavily criticized for his agency's slow response to Hurricane Katrina, is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm to help clients avoid the sort of errors that cost him his job.

In other news, Michael Jackson will be starting a daycare center out of his ranch.

Actually, one more thing on Thanksgiving

November 24, 2005

See what William S. Burroughs (Quicktime file) has to say about it.

I hate thanksgiving

November 24, 2005

I don't know what it is about this holiday that pisses me off so much… but seriously, it just does.

I've always believed that holidays are supposed to be fun. Between the cooking, the cleaning up, the pulling out of the “good” china, and enduring hours of small talk with relatives who you really don't see often enough to have any kind of real relationship with – well, fun isn't a word I'd use to describe it.

That's all I have to say about it. I conclude this post with an excerpt from the venerable wikipedia.

The centerpiece of contemporary Thanksgiving in the United States and Canada is a large meal, starring a large roasted turkey. Because turkey is the most common main dish of a Thanksgiving dinner, Thanksgiving is sometimes colloquially called Turkey Day in the USA. The USDA estimated that 269 million turkeys were raised in the country in 2003, about one-sixth of which were destined for a Thanksgiving dinner plate.

Gobble gobble.

My hero

November 23, 2005


The actor Richard Griffiths has launched a furious tirade against mobile phones after ejecting a member of the audience from his West End play when her ringtone sounded for the third time.

Griffiths, known for his roles as Uncle Vernon in the Harry Potter films and Uncle Monty in the cult hit Withnail and I, was somewhat less than avuncular when his lines in the tense penultimate scene of the play Heroes were interrupted by the mobile phone call on Saturday.

He stopped mid-scene and asked: “Could the person whose mobile phone it is please leave?”

When he pinpointed the female offender, he addressed her directly, saying: “Is that it, or will it be ringing some more?

“The 750 people here would be fully justified in suing you for ruining their afternoon.”

As the woman left the auditorium at the Wyndham's Theatre, the audience gave Griffiths a standing ovation before the play, also starring John Hurt, continued.

Good for him.

More great web sites

November 22, 2005

Can you tell I'm bored today?

I'm exploring 43 Things and it's sister site 43 Places – which are strangely addictive. Basically they're goal oriented sites – the former is a general “Things I want to accomplish in life”, ranging from the simple to life ambitions, and the latter is a “places I want to see” site. The things range from the mundane to the fanciful, the practical to the wishful.

It's vaguely reminiscent of the self-esteem building crap that guidance counselors would have you do back in Junior High… but somehow this manages to implement it in a way that's not lame, and in a way that I can even see being useful and motivating. Which happens to be something I need in life right now… though it remains to be seen if that's actually the case.