Archive for the ‘Atheism’ Category

Is it okay to scream “Oh, God” when having sex with an atheist?

July 22, 2006

This cartoon answers the question.

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Scary

July 19, 2006

The Man Upstairs Is in the House:

Yesterday’s House debate on same-sex marriage was pure dead horse: The Senate last month rejected — emphatically — a constitutional amendment that would allow Congress to ban same-sex marriage, so there was zero chance the amendment could be approved this year. But members of the House were answering to a Higher Authority.

“It’s part of God’s plan for the future of mankind,” explained Rep. John Carter (R-Tex.).

Rep. Bob Beauprez (R- Colo.) also found “the very hand of God” at work. “We best not be messing with His plan.”

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) agreed that “it wasn’t our idea, it was God’s.”

“I think God has spoken very clearly on this issue,” said Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.), a mustachioed gynecologist who served as one of the floor leaders yesterday. When somebody quarreled with this notion, Gingrey replied: “I refer the gentleman to the Holy Scriptures.”

If God is choosing these assholes to speak through, we’re all fucked.

Welcome to the Theocratic States of America.

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Awesome article in The Onion

July 19, 2006

I don’t usually post from The Onion, but this is awesome:

There’s No Way I’m Saving That Guy

By Jesus Christ

All right. I realize I am supposed to be all-merciful, universally loving, the Light and the Way and everything, but even a divine avatar of the Supreme Being’s loving grace has His limits. I know I’ve said many times that there is always room for one more—even the lowliest—at the table of the Lord, but even so, there is just no freaking way I’m redeeming this S.O.B.

I don’t want to name names, but his initials are Gus Feigert, owner-operator of Fei gert Automotive down on Seybold Road, by the gas station. There, I said it. And you know what? I don’t care. I’m glad I said his name. If he’s going to suffer damnation for all eternity—which, I assure you, he most certainly is—then I don’t see how much more damage revealing his identity during his brief time on Earth is going to cause the bastard in the long run.

The guy is a jerk.

Ha!

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Evangelist “Dr. Dino” arrested

July 16, 2006

Kent Hovind: Evangelist arrested on federal charges

A Pensacola evangelist who owns the defunct Dinosaur Adventure Land in Pensacola was arrested Thursday on 58 federal charges, including failing to pay $473,818 in employee-related taxes and making threats against investigators.

Of the 58 charges, 44 were filed against Kent Hovind and his wife, Jo, for evading bank reporting requirements as they withdrew $430,500 from AmSouth Bank between July 20, 2001, and Aug. 9, 2002.

Kent Hovind, who often calls himself “Dr. Dino,” has been sparring with the IRS for at least 17 years on his claims that he is employed by God, receives no income, has no expenses and owns no property.

“The debtor apparently maintains that as a minister of God, everything he owns belongs to God and he is not subject to paying taxes to the United States on money he receives for doing God’s work,” U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Lewis Killian Jr. wrote when he dismissed a claim from Hovind in 1996.

Hovind, an avowed creationist, has widely publicized his “standing offer” to pay $250,000 to anyone who can provide scientific evidence of evolution.

But, understand, he’s a “good Christian”. Neither Jesus nor Paul nor anyone in the old testament ever said anything about tax fraud being a sin.

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Christians trying to find a voice

July 11, 2006

Religion Taking A Left Turn?

But these are not the conservative Christian values which have been so influential lately. This is the religious left.

“Jesus called us to love our neighbor, love our enemy, care for the poor, care for the outcast, and that’s really the moral core of where we think the nation ought to go,” Dr. Bob Edgar, General Secretary of the National Council of Churches told CBS News correspondent Russ Mitchell.

“Jesus never said one word about homosexuality, never said one word about civil marriage or abortion,” Edgar said.

“We are furious that the religious right has made Jesus into a Republican. That’s idolatry,” Campolo said. “To recreate Jesus in your own image rather than allowing yourself to be created in Jesus’ image is what’s wrong with politics.”

The Christian left is focusing on:

  • Fighting poverty
  • Protecting the environment
  • Ending the war in Iraq

“Right now the war in Iraq costs us $1 billion per week,” said Rev. Jim Wallis, a Christian activist. “And we can’t get $5 billion over ten years for child care in this country?”

Wow, so they do exist…

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The big religion chart

July 10, 2006

Interesting reference chart for the world’s major religions. That’s a lot of Gods you don’t believe in.

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Free Xenu!

June 27, 2006

He’s been locked up for 75 Million years. Hasn’t he repaid his debt to society?

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Literal belief in the Bible down, but still 28%

June 14, 2006

So while one in four Americans are still completely disconnected from reality, at least it’s not as bad as it once was.

According to a recent survey by the Gallup Poll, 28 percent of Americans believe the Bible is literally true, compared to 38 percent 30 years ago. The survey was conducted among 1,002 adults, aged 18 or older. Nearly half, 49 percent, said the Bible was the “inspired word of God,” while 19 percent called it an “ancient book of fables.” Only 3 percent had no opinion.

Honestly, I’m not sure if this qualifies as good news or bad news.

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Jesus wants you to beat your kids

June 8, 2006

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?

The Pearls are evangelical Christians who believe corporal punishment is “doing it God’s way”. With a mailing list of tens of thousands of parents, the Pearls say that the justification for their approach is in scripture: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24).

Chastening begins early. “For the under-one-year-old, a little, 10- to 12-inch long, willowy branch (stripped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient,” writes Michael Pearl. With older children he advises: “After a short explanation about bad attitudes and the need to love, patiently and calmly apply the rod to his backside. Somehow, after eight or 10 licks, the poison is transformed into gushing love and contentment. The world becomes a beautiful place. A brand-new child emerges. It makes an adult stare at the rod in wonder, trying to see what magic is contained therein.”

These people have no morals, no sense of ethics, no sense of right and wrong. The people (and yes, I am including all evangelicals here) lack even the most basic sense of human decency, compassion, or empathy – they’re sociopaths, in the strictest definition of the word.

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Christian feeds self to lions

June 6, 2006

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists’, lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

All in all, it’s more proof Christians have never been persecuted. The Romans probably couldn’t keep them out of the lion pits.

Evolution in action. 🙂

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